I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
