Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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