The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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