and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
