I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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