you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
