You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
