Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
