I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
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And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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