I cockslap morals
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize