Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i think i have herpe
just one?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
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I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
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dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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