I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
