His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize