does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
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i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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