people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Randomize