My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
