at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
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Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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