The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize