i'm lost and i look like a hooker
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
