No stitches, just platelets and will power
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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