I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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