you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
