i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
