This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
