o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
