I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
