i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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