So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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