Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
