it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Randomize
