My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
