Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Well I just put wine in my tea
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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