My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
