They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
then he tried to convert me to islam
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
