When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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