Do you still have your period?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
