eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
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He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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