her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We just shotgunned beers for America
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
