I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I need moral support for this bender
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
