I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize