There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I want a musical about memes.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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