Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
