I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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