don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
