you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
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I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
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Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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