i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
