Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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