Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
