so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I supernannyed him into submission
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize