How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Blood and glitter go together right?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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