I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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