Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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