Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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