She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize