fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
