Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
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He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
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I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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