guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
