I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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