A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
we made out on top of his cat.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
