Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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